HELP!

Finding thinspo in these lovely ladies!!! I'm a major vs fan and Ive always wished i looked like one ( I am unfortunately about 8 in off lol) but at least they can be my inspiration. I am in desperate need of it atm considering my binging as of late. I swear it needs to end or i will gain everything back and just die! but im back strong hopefully. Redbull, water, and popsicles. I need to get this weight off!!! I also need to start working my fat ass out but im unmotivated. Fuck it. Stay skinny ladies. We can make it if we really really wanna.....

At Last

OOOkay. Ive been alternating fasting and binge purging and it for some odd reason seems to be working. My body responds well to purging for some reason. Maybe it shuts off the starvation mode trigger or something but I'm alwoys like 2 lbs lighter the next day. (water?) Oh well. So long as the numbers keep going down : ) Anyway I've been loving reading all you lovely ladies blogs and I've found a few new faves. Hope your all doing well. Think thin Ladies!!!!

Ok after a long weekend of unnecessary eating i am up again as i deserve i guess. oh annnd got my period so im not to thrilled. but i fasted yesterday and have had only oatmeal with some nuts and berries so far today. and that's all i plan to have. and im going to do some running later so hopefully that helps. I really just want this damn weight off already!!! Oh well enough whining. Haven't been on in a while so i need to catch up with everyone's posts. Hope all is well!!! : )

Ok. Stepped on the bloody scales this morning and it read .2 of a pound higher than it did yesterday. Bloody fucking hell. This is prob due to my lack of exercise yesterday or maybe it was the coke idk. I def had under 1000 cals yesterday. prob under 800 actually. but im not accustomed to drinking sodas as i find even diet ones seem to put my weight up. it's probly the salt. Either way I plan to fast today to try to get it back down and am upping my water intake so hopefully that helps. I have to go on stage tonight so im hoping not to binge. Wish me luck!!!!! Hope everyone else has a fabulous day! Think skinny guys. We'll all gat there!

I am a pig...... but

Ok. I have realized that the only way i am making it through this fast is to mix fasting with restricting. : ( This saddens me but I need to rebuild my metabolism. On the bright side I somehow lost another pound. YAY! I know. Im all curious too lol. Actually I was expecting to have gained considering i had almost 1300 cals yesterday plus i was expecting to carry some water from the salt but apparently not. But i had lots of small meals yesterday starting with yogurt then cereal then some pasta pot pie thingie ( It was really good) and then a mini pig out with the animal crackers and nilla wafers. All this before 4 o'clock then an hour of walk/jogging and then water and 6 or so hours of very interrupted sleep and voila! down a pound. But alas I don't trust it so ive cut back more today and will fast tomorrow. How is everyone else on the fast? Has it been working for you guys? Lots of Luck Ladies : )

WTF?

Oh. Did i mention the best part of it all? This morn on my way to work my mother asked me to consider seeing a therapist. Don't you just love those those random ass curveballs?

Okay. I have awakened from the dead of my restful weekend 3 pounds lighter but not without error. Saturday went fine but yesterday i was fine till around dinner when my father actually complimented me on my weight loss but told me i don't have to starve myself bladyyadiya. so of course i then had to eat dinner just to put up a front it was some rice thing and i had a choc muffin with it. then it was run to diet coke chug chug chug run to the bathroom purge purge purge. Unfortunately i was quite unsatisfied bcus i was convinced it didn't all come up (which it probly didn't) and even if it did you still retain cals i know so then i decided well fuck this my days ruined so i went ahead and had a positively awful bacon cheese and lettuce bagel cus i figured might as well. then it was on with more diet coke a little sw for good measure and i again found myself praying to the porcelain god. This time everything came up much easier than the first so i was not as upset. after about an hour i suddenly had a friggn PANIC ATTACK and ran up to my room to do countless squats pushups crunches leglifts... i did this till i collapsed waited a bit then climbed into bed and continued with more leg lifts. ugh. anyway i am starting afresh today and so far ive had just a swallow of my v8 so im hoping for an error free day : ) wish me luck! Hope your all doing well!

Okay. I'm down another pound and a half again thank god despite yesterdays fiasco. Now. I'm off to have a cigar and popsicle (yes i know its odd) and then tonight im taking some sleeping pills and knocking out for the whole weekend. (I cant eat if im asleep) Not advisable but im determined to be down another 3 by monday and i dont want to risk the temptation. Thats it for now. Hope everyone else is doing well on their fasts! Good Luck.